My brain is mush...

and I've been trying to think of something clever and witty to write about. Alas, all I can muster is a collection of some of my favorite pithy sayings...enjoy!!!

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be
misquoted, then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Pardon my driving; I'm reloading.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so
popular?

Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane,
going the wrong way.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many
is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your
principles.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never
tried before.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of
payments.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands....

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for
you....