Friday, January 19, 2007

I have a few questions...

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone!!

11 comments:

amynoroom said...

Girl, you ask too many questions! Haa ha!

Maryfly said...

*raises her hand* mentally ill!

Those were funny, hugs!

Travis said...

**giggle fit**

Dana said...

Hm...

:brain explodes:

Turnbaby said...

Hell my friends are all nuts. SMOOCH

missie said...

Okay, That is too funny. Did you come up with those on your own. Girl you crack me up, I can't wait to see you again.

MIssie

Turnbaby said...

LOL--I love this. Too funny.

Piacere said...

Amy: You know how my crazy mind works!! BWAHAHAHA!!!

Miss Fly: I know you are but what am I???????

Trav: Let's see...are you the one in four, or are you one of the three...hmmmmm...

Dana: *hands Dana a Wet-One*

Turn: Tank you, baby!!!! But really, I AM NUTS!!!

Missie: Love you!! As long as I don't crack a long neck, it's ok, right???

Dixiechick said...

I'm going to have to think on some of those questions and get back with you.

*raises both hands* Mentally ill here too!!!!

Bond said...

bwahahahahahaahahahahahahahahah

bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha

bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah

nuts? not me

ummm someone got a napkin.. I am drooling

Michael Pascoe said...

Tarzan doesn't have a beard because he shaves. I know it seems obvious but if you read the first novel, Edgar Rice Burroughs shows Tarzan taking a knife he found in a abandon cabin (unbeknownst to him, belongs to his father) and scrapes off his facial hair as not to look like the other apes.

Why does Superman duck? Because the man that played Superman, George Reeves, was not a real person. So when an actor flings a prop gun at your head, you are going to duck. (Don’t you think the director should have notice this?)