Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Thursday Thirteen



Thirteen Differences Between Men and Women (to name a few...):

1. NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new
argument.

6. CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

10. DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. SEX

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.

A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


Note: This has been an equal opportunity meme.

8 comments:

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

ha ha ha... thanks for the morning laugh honey!

smiles, bee

TopChamp said...

hello - scares me how accurate some of that stuff is... (or do I mean how well I identify with some of it?).

Happy final TT x

Maryfly said...

hysterical! and sadly true....

trivia is up! good luck!

B'ham awaits! WOOOOO!!

Dana said...

Yep, that sounds about right...

Bond said...

ummm OK ... now now now

1) very true

2) incredibly true

3) yup

4)ummmm not so true (at least for me)

5) not commenting! bwahahahah

6)Never once kicked one

7) bwahahahahah

8) another bwahahahahah

9) sometimes the man does change and then regrets it

10) ah now.. I dress up more then that

11) sometimes

12) nope not true nope

13) ooooooooooooooooo nasty PIA

SMOOCH

Turnbaby said...

LOL

Some of those are quite funny

Sorry so long getting back--gah it's been crazy

Anonymous said...

well, that's a bunch of sexist bs!

Piacere said...

Empress Bee: Glad you liked 'em...I thought they were pretty humorous!!

TC: Maybe it's a little bit of both???

Miss Fly: I'm getting SOOOOOOO excited!!!!

Dana: Glad you concur!

Bond: I just call 'em like I see 'em!!

Turn: Did you say CRAZY??? I can SOOOOO relate!! HSGR!!!

Anon: Did you read my disclaimer??