Wordless Wednesday

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Differences Between Men and Women (to name a few...):

1. NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new
argument.

6. CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

10. DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. SEX

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.

A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


Note: This has been an equal opportunity meme.

Wordless Wednesday

I finally met Lucille...

One of many concerts that has evaded me over the years, I finally saw B. B. King, live and in his 81-year-old glory, this past Saturday night. Nothing could have prepared me for this performance and trip down memory lane with "B". He played, talked, joked, and kept his audience enthralled for over 90 minutes. Read more about it here.

On this Shrove Tuesday, have a listen to The King of the Blues and laissez les bon temps rouler!!!

Let The Good Times Roll (Live (Coconut Grove) Single Version)
By B.B. King
BestAudioCodes.com

Friday Science Lesson

Which symbol do you think best represents the dangers of radiation?

This one:

Or this one:

The first symbol, the standard trefoil, has been in use since the late 1940's (see its history here).

The second symbol was launched yesterday by the International Atomic Energy Agency as a way "to help reduce needless deaths and serious injuries from accidental exposure to large radioactive sources. It will serve as a supplementary warning to the trefoil, which has no intuitive meaning and little recognition beyond those educated in its significance." Read more about it here.

Note that the United States has no obligation to follow this standard unless directed by the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

The Book of Ratings has an interesting take on warning symbols. They have yet to comment on the new radiation warning sign.

So, what do you think? I tend to prefer this one:



Happy Friday, everyone!! Have a great weekend!!

Wordless Wednesday

Thursday Thirteen

So I hear my buddy Turnbaby is feeling poorly and under the weather. To help her feel better, I've listed 13 terrific quotes from one of our favorite movies, Raising Arizona. I hope this cheers her up. Enjoy, Turn-a-roo...feel better soon!!! HSGR!!!

(P.S. Only 13 quotes are listed here...there are MANY others. If you've never seen this film, RUN (don't walk) to Netflix or Blockbuster. It's one of the funniest movies I've ever seen!)

#1
Ed McDonnough: [Sobbing] Turn to the right.
H.I.: What's the matter, Ed?
Ed McDonnough: My "fy-ance" left me.
H.I.: [Narrating] She said her fiancee had run off with a student cosmetologist, who knew how to ply her feminine wiles.
H.I.: [Out loud] That sumbitch. You tell him, I think he's a damn fool, Ed. You tell him I said so - H.I. McDonnough. If he wants to discuss it, he knows where to find me: in the Maricopa County Maximum Security Correctional Facility For Men State Farm, Road Number 31, Tempe, Arizona! I'LL BE WAITIN'! I'll be waitin'.

#2
H.I.: What kind of name is Ed for a pretty thing like you?
Ed McDonnough: Short for Edwina. Turn to the right.
H.I.: You're a flower, you are. Just a little desert flower.

#3
[an old convict and H.I. lying on their prison bunks, passing the time]
Ear-Bending Cellmate: ...and when there was no meat, we ate fowl and when there was no fowl, we ate crawdad and when there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand.
H.I.: You ate what?
Ear-Bending Cellmate: We ate sand.
[pause]
H.I.: You ate SAND?
Ear-Bending Cellmate: That's right!

#4
H.I.: Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.

#5
Parole Board chairman: They've got a name for people like you H.I. That name is called "recidivism."
Parole Board member: Repeat offender!
Parole Board chairman: Not a pretty name, is it H.I.?
H.I.: No, sir. That's one bonehead name, but that ain't me any more.
Parole Board chairman: You're not just telling us what we want to hear?
H.I.: No, sir, no way.
Parole Board member: 'Cause we just want to hear the truth.
H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.
Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that?
H.I.: Yes, sir.
Parole Board chairman: Okay, then.

#6
Dot: I'm sure you have the life insurance squared away?
Ed McDonnough: Have we done that honey? We gotta do that honey!
Dot: You gotta do that HI! Ed's got her hands full with this little angel.
H.I.: Yes, ma'am.
Dot: What would Ed and little angel do if a truck came along and splattered your brains all over the interstate?
Ed McDonnough: Yeah honey! What if you get run over?
Dot: Or carried off by a twister?

#7
Dot: [GASPS after seeing Nathan Jr] What's his name?
Ed McDonnough: Uh... Hi... Hi Junior, till we think of a better one.
Dot: Why don't ya call him Jason? l just love biblical names. If I had another little boy, I'd name him Jason, Caleb or Tab.
[GASPS; covers her face with her hands and looks through her fingers]
Dot: He's an angel! He's an angel straight from heaven! Now honey, I had all my kids the hard way. Tell me how you got this little angel. Did he fly straight down from heaven?

#8
Ed McDonnough: You mean you busted out of jail.
Evelle: No, ma'am. We released ourselves on our own recognizance.
Gale: What my brother here means to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us.

#9
Nathan Arizona Sr.: If a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass a- hoppin'. Look, it is exactly 8:45 in the PM. I'll be down at that store in exactly 12 hours to kick me some butt. Or my name ain't Nathan Arizona!

#10
Policeman in Arizona house: What did the pyjamas look like?
Nathan Arizona Sr.: I don't know - they were jammies! They had Yodas'n shit on 'em!

#11
Leonard Smalls: Name's Smalls. Leonard Smalls. My friends call me Lenny... only I ain't got no friends.

#12
Nathan Arizona Sr.: Eight hundred leaf-tables and no chairs? You can't sell leaf-tables and no chairs. Chairs, you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got dick!

#13
FBI Agent: Sir, we discovered you were born Nathan Huffheins.
Nathan Arizona Sr.: Yeah, I changed my name. What of it?
FBI Agent: Can you give us an indication why?
Nathan Arizona Sr.: Would you shop at a store called Unpainted Huffheins?

Happy Thursday!!!